ould to God I could tell another tale! Would
to God I had such memories as other men have of a father's clasp, a
mother's kiss--but no! my grief, already profound, might have become
abysmal. Perhaps it is best as it is; only, I might have been a
different child, and made for myself a different fate--who knows.
"As it was, I was thrown almost entirely upon my own resources for any
amusement. This led me to a discovery I made one day. In a far part of
the cellar behind some heavy casks, I found a little door. It was so
low--so exactly fitted to my small body, that I had the greatest desire
to enter it. But I could not get around the casks. At last an expedient
occurred to me. We had an old servant who came nearer loving me than any
one else. One day when I chanced to be alone in the cellar, I took out
my ball and began throwing it about. Finally it landed behind the casks,
and I ran with a beseeching cry to Michael, to move them.
"It was a task requiring no little strength and address, but he managed,
after a few herculean efforts, to shift them aside and I saw with
delight, my way opened to that mysterious little door. But I did not
approach it then; some instinct deterred me. But when the opportunity
came for me to venture there alone, I did so, in the most adventurous
spirit, and began my operations by sliding behind the casks and testing
the handle of the little door. It turned, and after a pull or two the
door yielded. With my heart in my mouth, I stooped and peered in. I
could see nothing--a black hole and nothing more. This caused me a
moment's hesitation. I was afraid of the dark--had always been. But
curiosity and the spirit of adventure triumphed. Saying to myself that I
was Robinson Crusoe exploring the cave, I crawled in, only to find that
I had gained nothing. It was as dark inside as it had looked to be from
without.
"There was no fun in this, so I crawled back, and when I tried the
experiment again, it was with a bit of candle in my hand, and a
surreptitious match or two. What I saw, when with a very trembling
little hand I had lighted one of the matches, would have been
disappointing to most boys, but not to me. The litter and old boards
I saw in odd corners about me were full of possibilities, while in the
dimness beyond I seemed to perceive a sort of staircase which might
lead--I do not think I made any attempt to answer that question even
in my own mind, but when, after some hesitation and a sense
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