the result of
the self-teaching are not good. In the University Settlement I learned
much that made my heart ache; but out of it there seemed some lesson for
good.' She paused; and her aunt, wishing to keep the subject towards
higher things, asked:
'And that lesson, Stephen dear?' The blazing eyes turned to her so that
she was stirred by them as the answer came:
'It is bad women who seem to know men best, and to be able to influence
them most. They can make men come and go at will. They can turn and
twist and mould them as they choose. And _they_ never hesitate to speak
their own wishes; to ask for what they want. There are no tragedies, of
the negative kind, in _their_ lives. Their tragedies have come and gone
already; and their power remains. Why should good women leave power to
such as they? Why should good women's lives be wrecked for a convention?
Why in the blind following of some society fetish should life lose its
charm, its possibilities? Why should love eat its heart out, in vain?
The time will come when women will not be afraid to speak to men, as they
should speak, as free and equal. Surely if a woman is to be the equal
and lifelong companion of a man, the closest to him--nay, the only one
really close to him: the mother of his children--she should be free at
the very outset to show her inclination to him just as he would to her.
Don't be frightened, Auntie dear; your eyes are paining me! . . . There!
perhaps I said too much. But after all it is only theory. Take for your
comfort, Auntie dear, that I am free an heart-whole. You need not fear
for me; I can see what your dear eyes tell me. Yes! I am very young;
perhaps too young to think such things. But I have thought of them.
Thought them all over in every way and phase I can imagine.'
She stopped suddenly; bending over, she took the old lady in her arms and
kissed her fondly several times, holding her tight. Then, as suddenly
releasing her, she ran away before she could say a word.
CHAPTER VIII--THE T-CART
When Harold took his degree, Stephen's father took her to Cambridge. She
enjoyed the trip very much; indeed, it seemed under conditions that were
absolutely happy.
When they had returned to Normanstand, the Squire took an early
opportunity of bringing Harold alone into his study. He spoke to him
with what in a very young man would have seemed diffidence:
'I have been thinking, Harold, that the time has come when
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