flattered;
I needed not to change. You were the first person who blamed in me what
others had found pretty and amusing. I was angry, fearfully angry. I
resolved to show you that you were no better than the rest of the
world. Finally, one idea took entire possession of me: I must be once
more at the head of a public-house; then you and the world would see
what talents I had. So I went on from worse to worse. Yesterday,--was
it yesterday that the minister was here?--hark! uncle is asleep. That
is good. I want one hour with you alone before we go into eternity. No
third person can understand our two hearts after all we have been
through together. Yesterday, Lenz, as I was sitting here by myself, the
thought came to me, that I had never known what it was to love with my
whole heart. I had been your wife for five years, and never found out
till yesterday how much I loved you. If you had come home then, I
should have kissed your eyes and your hands. Oh, you do not know how
dearly I can love! But instead came Faller, who first frightened me,
and then told how you had deceived me about the security. I became
again possessed with the evil spirit that makes me do and say what he
will, not what I will. But he is gone now; his power is over. I would
crouch at your feet if it would serve you. Oh, if I could but see you
once more; only once in the light of day! There is no seeing by this
blue flame. If I could but once more see your kind, good face, your
honest eyes! To die thus without seeing or being seen; it is terrible!
How often I met your eyes with averted looks! Oh for one flash, one
single flash of light, to show you to me!"

Petrovitsch had only feigned sleep, seeing that Annele wanted to open
her heart to her husband, alone. The child was playing with Bubby. "If
I could but call back the years!" continued Annele. "One day at noon
you said, 'Is there anything better than the sun?' and in the evening,
'O, this good fresh air! it is pure blessing.' I laughed at your folly;
yet you were right,--you were happy. Happiness came to you as naturally
as the light and air. I sinned against you in all ways. When I threw
down your father's file and broke it, the point pierced my heart; but I
would not show that I was sorry. I threw out of the window that dear
writing of your mother's and that memento of her. Nothing that was
sacred to you escaped my venom. You forgive me, I know; pray God to
forgive me, whether I live or die."

A musi