remulous face.
To her relief he asked no questions, but averting his eyes talked easily
on matter-of-fact subjects, not waiting for replies, but content simply
to fill in the time till self-possession returned. Katrine divined as
much, and did not trouble to listen. She also was waiting for
self-possession, but only so as to be able to confide and be comforted.
That Bedford could invariably find the right panacea for a wound was a
fact already acknowledged with delight, and to-night the need of him was
pressing. Her inattention grew increasingly obvious, until at length he
ceased speaking, and looked down at her with questioning eyes.
"You don't want to talk! Shall I stay, and be quiet, or would you
rather I went away, and left you alone?"
"Stay, please, _and_ talk--only, for the moment my mind is so full of
one thing, that I can't think of anything else. That poor man! he's
been telling me his story.--I can't repeat it, but he has also been
scorching me for my interference. I deserved it, I suppose, for my
self-sufficiency, but--it hurt! Growing pains! Do you remember?"
"Poor little girl!" he said simply; so simply, so kindly, that there
could be no offence in the familiarity. "I was afraid you had given
yourself a stiff road to hoe. I've had experience in these cases, and
know something about the difficulties. The trouble is that like many
reformers you are beginning at the wrong end, trying to doctor his mind,
whereas it's his body that is sick. Drink is a physical disease, and
it's hard luck on its victims that public opinion refuses to realise the
fact. Imagine a fellow being called a beast--a degraded beast,
disgraceful, disgusting--all the usual terms, because he was suffering
from tuberculosis or heart disease! It's unthinkable, but a poor wretch
who has to fight against a physical craving as fierce as the claws of a
wild beast, tearing him, literally tearing, not to be quenched except by
the very poison which is going to set him craving again,--for one
kindly, pitying thought, he gets a hurricane of abuse! You and I know
better. We don't judge; we pity the poor fellow from the bottom of our
hearts, but I say--" suddenly his voice changed to a crisp, boylike
note, "don't let's talk about him to-night! It's such a ripping night.
We can do him no good. Then why spoil our own time? Let's talk about
happy things!" He threw away his cigarette as he spoke, leaned his arms
on the rail, and tu
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