not a sinner, I threw them away in disgust. Indeed, they
were ill suited to a taste formed by plays and novels, to which
reading I chiefly trace my ruin; for, vain as I was, I should never
have been guilty of so wild a step as to run away, had not my heart
been tainted and my imagination inflamed by those pernicious books.

"At length my little George was born. This added to the burden I had
brought on this poor family, but it did not diminish their kindness,
and we continued to share their scanty fare without any upbraiding
on their part, or any gratitude on mine. Even this poor baby did not
soften my heart; I wept over him, indeed, day and night, but they
were tears of despair; I was always idle, and wasted those hours in
sinful murmurs at his fate, which I should have employed in trying
to maintain him. Hardship, grief, and impatience, at length brought
on a fever. Death seemed now at hand, and I felt a gloomy
satisfaction in the thought of being rid of my miseries, to which I
fear was added a sullen joy, to think that you, sir, and my mother,
would be plagued to hear of my death when it would be too late; and
in this your grief I anticipated a gloomy sort of revenge. But it
pleased my merciful God not to let me thus perish in my sins. My
poor mother-in-law sent for a good clergyman, who pointed out the
danger of dying in that hard and unconverted state, so forcibly,
that I shuddered to find on what a dreadful precipice I stood. He
prayed with me and for me so earnestly, that at length God, who is
sometimes pleased to magnify his own glory in awakening those who
are dead in trespasses and sins, was pleased of his free grace, to
open my blind eyes, and soften my stony heart. I saw myself a
sinner, and prayed to be delivered from the wrath of God, in
comparison of which the poverty and disgrace I now suffered appeared
as nothing. To a soul convinced of sin, the news of a Redeemer was a
joyful sound. Instead of reproaching Providence, or blaming my
parents, or abusing my husband, I now learned to condemn myself, to
adore that God who had not cut me off in my ignorance, to pray for
pardon for the past, and grace for the time to come. I now desired
to submit to penury and hunger, so that I might but live in the fear
of God in this world, and enjoy his favor in the next. I now learned
to compare my present light sufferings, the consequence of my own
sin, with those bitter sufferings of my Saviour, which he endured
for my