dine with you.
You live upon the fragments left by the boys, and have nothing worth
asking them to; it will be a proof of your frugality, and they will the
more readily pay your demands.

CHAP. VIII.

ACADEMY WIVES.

SECT. 1. The properest person is a daughter or widow of the trade, such
a one is commonly best instructed in the mystery of the business, best
able to conciliate the affection of the boys, and make most of the
children's linen.

SECT. 2. If such a one cannot be had, some old maiden must be sought
for; she probably may have learnt the art of frugality, and if peevish
and proud, the more desirable; you will be liked the better, it will
preserve her also from being too familiar with the ushers, and she will
be more respected by people of quality.

SECT. 3. Never, I beseech you, attempt to marry a young woman of
fortune or family.

SECT. 4. Never allow your wife to contradict you before the boys or
parents.

SECT. 5. The older your wife the better; she will look more motherly,
and take more patiently such names as the children may wantonly give
her.

SECT. 6. Never let her be humble enough to inspect the children's
heads; it will put her too much on a condition with the servants: and
yet she should not be too proud to sell them ribbon, garters, studds,
gingerbread, &c. It is a necessary part of her duty.

SECT. 7. When you are absent she must watch the ushers, and see that
they watch the boys, and cheat them not out of their money or
play-things: there is no trusting any of them.

CHAP. IX.

USHERS.

SECT. 1. Never employ a man of abilities if you can help it; he will
scarce ever submit to the drudgery of your business, or pay that
deference to your authority, which you may find necessary.

SECT. 2. The most desirable method of procuring ushers is by
advertisements. None will apply who are not in desperate circumstances,
and these are your men. If they know little it is no great matter; they
will be the more diligent: and should the children detect their
ignorance, or the parents complain, you may easily dismiss them; others
such-like are to be had; and it will shew your friends how desirous you
are to oblige them.

SECT. 3. When your ushers first come, you must endeavour to open their
hearts by kind treatment. Make yourself acquainted with their
circumstances; you may then more judiciously reduce them to trammels.

SECT. 4. It is not your interest that the ushers be too in