ridiculous that at first I
found it amusing to listen to the performance. A musical ear
might have had novel practice by classifying the intonations. The
war-whooping snore of my bedfellow changed at times into a deep and
mellow bass. To the right of us, on the lower shelf, was a happy
individual indulging in all the variations of a nervous treble of
every possible pitch: his was an inconstant _falsetto_ in sound and
cadence. Above him snored one as if he had a metallic reed in his
larynx that opened with each inhalation: his snore struck me as a
brassy _alto_. The tenors were distributed at such distances as to
convey to my ears all the discord of an inebriated band of cracked
fifes and split bagpipes playing snatches of different tunes. There
were snores that beggar description, that seemed to express every
temperament and every passion of the human soul. I cannot forget one
a couple of berths off, which seemed to rise above the mediocrity of
snores, mellowing into a tenderness like the dying strains of an echo,
and renewing its regular periods with a highbred dignity which Nature
had clearly not assumed. Another broke away from the harsh notes
around in soft diapasons, and with a mellifluous _soprano_ which I
instinctively knew must belong to a throat that could sing. Was it
Nilsson? Just over my head was a jerky croak of a snore, sounding
at intervals of half a minute, as if it had retired on half-pay and
longed to get back into active service.

It occurred to me, when amid these paroxysms of turmoil I heard a
very fair harmony between the bass of my bedfellow and the tenor of a
sleeper in the next berth, that if a Gilmore could take snores, into
training, and by animal magnetism or mesmerism manage to make them
snore in concert and by note--

In perfect phalanx to the Dorian mood Of flutes and soft recorders--

we should have a diverting performance in sleeping-cars, and one
objection to their use would be actually utilized as an extra
inducement to patronize them.

Several times I was strongly impelled to shunt my bass snorer off the
bed or twig his Roman nose, but one experiment of a kick roused such
a vigorous snort, like that produced by dropping a brick on a sleeping
pig, that I abandoned such physical means of retaliation. I thought
of tickling his nose with a feather or a straw, but the bed contained
neither, and I had not even a pin. And supposing I should stop my
shelf-mate, what could I do to sup